MANAGER Wain, you think you could fill in for Wait# tonight? She called in sick and I could really use you. WAIN (sadly) Sure. MANAGER Cool. I'll need you back at six. Could you do me a favor and run over to MAIN's to tell him to come in too. He's got his phone off. Here's his address, he won't care. WAIN (happily) Sure! CUT TO: WAIN pulls up to MAIN's house, it is a large beautiful house, well landscaped. BAR1 and BAR2's cars are here along MAIN's jeep and BMW. She knocks on the front door, there is no answer. She hears music out back and follows it to the backyard, which contains a pool, and is terribly messy with beer cans and a grill, the music is deafening, and the boys are drinking a beer bong and dancing when they spot her and turn down the music. BAR1 Hey, Maid, what's up? BAR2 Besides my BAC! WAIN Um, sorry, I..a.. Manager sent me. He needs you to work tonight at six. MAIN Fuck! That's why I shut off my phone! WAIN Yeah, I got caught on my way out. MAIN Well I guess we're working tonight. What're you doin' now? We're going to Tower, maybe grab some breakfast? WAIN Cool. I was going to Tower myself (looks at BAR1 and BAR2 doing another Beer bong) Would you like me to drive? MAIN No we do don't believe in drinking and riding in vehicles. It's a beautiful day, there's only one acceptable means of transportation. (lifts up a rollerblade) Chariot of the Gods. Got a pair? Don't worry we got lots of spares. I'll go get ya one. BAR1 (handing her a beer) Here ya go. Ya know I've never seen ya outside of 'Cention. Comin' with us? WAIN (takes the beer, but doesn't open it) I'm busy a lot. Yeah, MAIN's getting me 'blades MAIN (tosses her a pair of blades) Alright Ramblers, let's get ramblin'! The boys slip into their blades effortlessly, Wain sighs and struggles with them. They take off down the driveway like bats out of hell. Main notices Wain is not follows and returns to her, now struggling to stand up in the newly laced skates. MAIN You've done this before, right? WAIN (moving towards him) Sure. (to herself) How hard can it be? CUT TO: Scenes of the boys grinding curbs, railings, and various tricks. Wain is struggling to go forward at a decent speed. Finally they arrive at a strip mall with a restaurant, a Tower Records and various small stores. The sit on the curb and pull off their skates. Wain sits down hardly and lets out a tired sigh. She sees Bar1 and Bar2 light a cigarette and stand in their socks. CUT TO: The gang are ascending the escalator in their socks. On the way up is a Spice Girls advertisement. *****INSERT SPICE GIRLS JOKE HERE ******* MAIN Alright, let's do this quick, I'm hungry. Meet back here ASAP. And let's try not to get kicked out this time. Break! The boys sprint off in opposite directions on a mission. Wain giggles and turns to the book section, and slowly walks down the isle. On the way she hears all sorts of noises and laughter from across the store. She finally reaches 'Classics' and looks then finds a book, as she stands, she is surprised to see Main in the Jazz section, intently looking at discs. She walks over to him, ignoring the shenanigans of the others taunting the cashier. WAIN I wouldn't expect to see you in this section MAIN Oh, I love jazz, and swing, grew up on it. It's not like you play it at a party, but when you're alone, or something, it's cool. Helps ya sleep, y'know. WAIN (picking up a CD she wanted) Yeah. Ever go to the Rhythm… BAR1 (interrupting) ***SOME SILLY STUNT**** MAIN (spotting manager) Oh, man, let's go! (laughs) They all run to the cashier, Wain follows slowly behind. They drop their booty on the counter and start playing with the items near the register. BAR2 (noticing nametag) Hi Helen. How ya doin' today? BAR1 Hey! Leave Helen alone. I'm sorry about him, he's a mistake. (to Bar2) She's mine! MAIN (pulling out his wallet) I got all of this. HELEN (smiling) These are your friends? Bar1 reappears and drops a cartoon videotape on the counter, Bar2 drops a Porno mag on top of it. MAIN (smiling) Believe it or not. (sees Wain and grabs her book and CD) Yeah, these too. BAR1 I'll get lunch BAR2 I'll get drinks BAR1 Cool! Cognac on Bar2! BAR2 All you get's milk! Cashier (reading while scanning) Rage Against the Machine, Fugees, Cure, Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, Nina Simone, T.Monk, Misfits….Hemmingway…porn….and the Spice Girls….You are all friends? They all smile broadly. CUT TO: they are going down the escalator, pulling items out of the bag that Main is holding MAIN (grinning) Spice Girls? BAR1 Hey! I don't make fun of your Old Jazz shit, do I? BAR2 I think Helen wanted ya Main! You should hook that up! BAR1 Yeah, she was diggin' the vibe. CUT TO: The entryway they go to the newspaper machine and put in quarters to open them up and grab their skates. BAR2 So who's your favorite? BAR1 Spice Girl? Gotta be Ginger. BAR2 Ginger's a ho; and she ain't even a Spice no more. Sporty is where it's at. MAIN No, no. Posh. Hands down. WAIN You guys aren't gonna start brawling again? MAIN Not yet, they're lucky I'm hungry. CUT TO: A restaurant it is dimly lit they are smoking and the table is covered with a pitcher, glasses, and various shots. BAR1 …but Ginger got nekkid an' everything. What's Sporty done for me lately? MAIN So tell us about, where was it Dakota? WAIN South Dakota BAR2 Wow, isn't that like the wild or somethin' Like cowboys and Indians and shit? WAIN There are definitely cowboys and there are native Americans, but not like that. I dunno it's not that bad. Just no opportunity. It's real quiet and peaceful though. BAR1 Are you kidding that sounds horrible WAIN You guys would freak. No nightclubs, no cabs, no malls…no sports, no Dave and Busters. They all let out a terrible gasp. Wain just giggles. MAIN Well, I'm glad you're here then! BAR2 Think we got time for some D 'n B's? MAIN Naw, we fuckin' gottta work remember. We haven't even got our food and third round here yet. BAR1 Good thing we ordered in quantity (lifts a shot) or we'd rise up and riot! MAIN (lifts martini for a toast) Gin! It makes a man mean! BAR3 (lifts a beer for the toast) Beer is poor man's rocket fuel! WAIN (confused but toasts) What are guys talkin' about? BAR2 Milk and Cheese! BAR1 See, while you're messing with the classics, you are missing out on Dairy Products gone Bad! WAIN (still confused) Ooookaaay.. MAIN It's a comic we all collect. Bar1 only understands books with pictures BAR2 Especially books with nude pictures! WAITRESS (bringing food) Can I get anyone another drink? BAR1 I'll take a Labatts Blue and a shot of Captain Morgan. BAR2 I'll just have another pitcher MAIN I'll take another martini and a shot of Morgan as well WAIN I'll just have a Coke BAR1 What?! WAIN I gotta work tonight. They all laugh loudly MAIN (realizing) I'll have a Bud Light CUT TO: They all enter Ascention's single file with Main in front and Wain lagging behind. They meet with Bouncer and Wait# MANAGER Alright, we got a wedding party coming in tonight so It should be pretty busy. There won't be a band so I won't need Bouncer or BAR2. But the kitchen and the tables will be busy. I think you two can handle the bar. I gotta go, so call me if there is any problems. MAIN Cool. Take care. MANAGER You're late. They all start preparing for the evening shift. As soon as Manager leaves, Bar1 starts handing beers to Main, Bar2, and Bouncer. BAR1 Might as well drink free, if you ain't got to work. CUSTOMER Hey buddy, I've been standin' here forever. What's it take to get a beer around here? BAR1 (turns towards customer) Patience and Attitude. (turns back) Did you guys see Cindy Crowford on Conan last night? CUT TO: Waitress station. Owait is taking off her apron and talking to Wain. OWAIT Sounds like someone's got a crush! WAIN I don't know what it is. I love being around him. I came in here three months ago to get a drink and just kinda fell for him. Not his 'look at me I'm Krusty the Klown' act, but his real, caring side. OWAIT Are we talkin' about the same Main here? WAIN Oh, he hides it. He's scared the boys will see his weakness, but I bet when he's alone…. OWAIT There's the problem. He's never alone. Wain looks down at the floor OWAIT I think he's a sweety too. Go for it. CUT TO: Bar1 and Main are behind the bar serving customers. They meet at the cash register. MAIN Kinda cool hangin' with Wain today. She should hook up with my sister, they'd be good friends. BAR1 You should hook ME up with your sis. MAIN Not this again! (laughs) BAR1 Just think we could be brothers. MAIN (laughing at Bar1) What can I get ya? LADY I'll have a Blue Hawaiian MAIN (seeing her beauty) Easy. Just tell him 'No' (they both laugh) Main is over in a corner mixing her drink, while conversing with an older lady regular MAIN Hiah Judy! How's the kids? JUDY Fine. Fine. Starting college. The youngest one wants to be a Movie star, though. Isn't that what you were gonna be? MAIN Director. Yeah. Decided to take some time off. JUDY You're young, you got time. MAIN (to himself) It's fleeting… BAR1 (secretly to Main) Hey, what's in a purple people eater? MAIN Fuck if I know! Just make sure it's purple. They don't know either! Look I'm making a Blue Hawaiian. Ever hear of that? BAR1 Yeah but I don't know what's in it MAIN Me neither! See how easy that was. It's blue. CUT TO: Lady who ordered the drink. She looks around as Pickup Artist pans into view. PICK UP ARTIST I can tell that you want me LADY Yes, I want you.. to leave! PICK UP ARTIST Sure! I wasn't gonna do you here! LADY The only thing you're gonna do is go home alone and cry PICK UP ARTIST (unfazed) That's a beautiful dress, can I talk you out of it? MAIN (with her drink) Hey, buddy, come back when you have respect for the temple that is this fine godess (smiles) LADY (smiles back) Can I give you my number? MAIN (coyly) If you must. Across the bar Bar1 witnesses the exchange and shakes his head as he pours BAR1 It never ceases to amaze me. OLD MAN Me neither. You'd think after all the practice he find a real one. WAIT# (disgusted) Or they'd see through it! BAR1 You didn't. WAIT# Gimmie two Lite drafts, and a Tequilla MAIN (putting the beers on the tray) What're you doin' tonight? WAIT# Oh, God! BAR1 (pouring Tequilla) Just thought we'd play Indiana Jones and the temple of gold. Wait# giggles and leaves with the drinks. The phone starts ringing. Bar1 looks at behind as she walks away, and turns to Old Man and grins. Old Man just shakes his head.